


A Light in the Dark

by 4theHonourofGräysküll (AVAwolfpack), DakianDelomast



Series: Our Fires Within [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Abuse survival, Adora (She-Ra) is a Dork, Bow (She-Ra) in Over His Head, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbians in Space, POV Catra (She-Ra), Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, wholesome lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVAwolfpack/pseuds/4theHonourofGr%C3%A4ysk%C3%BCll, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DakianDelomast/pseuds/DakianDelomast
Summary: Demons don't die easy. Our darkness follows us long after the night has passed. I want to live in the light, but it feels so far away. In the quiet of space, I hope we find peace and love. And I hope you and your friends can forgive me, some day.A/N: Everyone wants a Season 6. So a friend and I have been collaboratively writing a story as tribute to the wholesome rainbow that is She-Ra. I had a lot of questions about just what it meant to these walking disasters to just try to be normal people and have functional relationships. And this is what has fallen out. I hope you feel the things that we felt making this. If you're in it for the long haul, prepare for some glorious wholesome fun as close to the theme of the show as we can get it. Enjoy! :D
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: Our Fires Within [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181396
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. Echoes

My ear hurts. I shift my head on the pillow and rattle the hard cot under me, freeing it from confinement. It twitches once, twice, flitting against the rock of the pillow. I settle back in, and an arm slides over my waist, gliding against the delicate fur there. It reaches up, locks over my chest, and I am dragged into the warmth behind me.

My breath hitches.

A face nuzzles into the back of my head, burrowing into the fur. I hear something. Drown in the soporific murmurs is my name.

“Catra.”

I feel your body press closer against me; the arm cinches down tighter. My tail threads between your legs. You surround me. The heat of your slumbering breaths radiate down my neck, lacing delicate fingers of vapor over my collarbone. 

You nuzzle deeper into my hair. Fingers meander through my fur. I want to settle. I want to relax into the embrace. Every muscle is taut. Everything is starting to ache. Threads tear as my claws clench down on the hard mattress. I try to breathe. Perfuma’s words find me. _Deep in. Hold. Deep out. Hold. Let the positive energy fill you, and push out the negative._

My heart slows. I push back into your embrace. 

Your lips touch the back of my neck.

_I see all, Little Sister._

No.

I clench and push away, wrestling the arm off me. I squirm, crawl, push; the arm holds for a moment, dragging me back into the green ooze and pain. I feel it drawing me in. I crawl harder. My body pulls against the currents. The tide rushes in. Not the Velvet Glove. The apathetic clones, the sterility of a space station with a hint of sweet amniotic fluid that persists everywhere. No.

The hand lets go. I pounce away from the cot.

“Catra?” The confused voice calls from the darkness, dimly illuminated by the blue glow of the persistent light of Darla. You lazily push up on your arm. The heart, the First Ones’ brand of your selflessness shimmers on your chest over your gray tank top. Melog chirrs in response to the disturbance, raising their head as well.

“It’s okay Adora. I just need to use the bathroom.” A lie. My chest feels ready to collapse and explode like a supernova. Another vision of Prime’s light, the death of an entire system, watched from the relative safety of a window. The picturesque destruction of not just a world but billions of people.

_They should have just obeyed._

“Okay.” Your voice is suspicious, but it doesn’t argue. I sit there. Melog’s blue eyes close, and they curl back up at the foot of the bed.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Your peaceful slumbering breaths basks the room in a calming resonance. My hand hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts. I unclench my hand and relax my arm. The nails pull free of skin and I inspect my claws. They are coated in blood painted black in the blue light. I unwind my body and stand. 

I approach the door and thumb on the pad with a delicate press, only cracking the sliding door. I wait. The cool, sterile air of the ship brushes by my nose. No one is wandering around out there. I slip through the door, and debate on closing it. I peer back into the room. You are sprawled chest down on the cot, with the light playing on your profile.

Melog looks at me again. “Stay. Just, right now. Stay. Please.”

There is a reluctance in their body. A soft meow of a question.

“Yes, I’ll be back.”

I slip through, naked feet padding on the cool metal plates.

Why does Entrapta let Darla keep this ship so frigid?

I make my way to the cockpit, and repeat the same as before. I thumb gently on the pad, and it opens the door a crack. Another brief inspection confirms no one is going to be in there.

The edge of the canopy calls to me. With a few quick steps I sit back on it, watching the endless space slip by. Stars. Quiet.

Prime.

I squeeze my eyes shut. He isn’t real. He isn’t here anymore. He isn’t anywhere. You saw to that. He isn’t anywhere, but— 

I touch the back of my neck, and inspect the prints of blood on my fingers. 

“You seem to be injured.”

I yelp and crash my head against the sloped glass canopy. The knock scatters a couple stars across my vision. I kick my legs over the console and hold my head.

“You seem—more injured.”

“Yes, very astute, Entrapta.” She must have snuck through the vents. My teeth set in my mouth with a clench.

“I can get that patched up!” A menagerie of devices and equipment entangled in her tentacles of hair unfurl from behind her like an octopus with surgical intentions. 

“No that’s okay!” I hold up a hand and push myself against the glass behind.

“Ohhh, that kind of injury, too.” Her purple pigtails fold back behind her as she forms a couch with them. 

“What?” Her positivity is already setting my rattled nerves back on edge.

She folds her gloved hands under her chin and visibly dissects me. “Well you see, there’s a spike in your adrenaline and cortisol which is binding with your neuroreceptors and keeping your thalamus from completing it’s neuroregulation and shutting down the higher functioning cortexes.”

“Excuse me?” I stretch my sleep-shorts back down my leg where they are riding up on me, smoothing the elastic fabric.

She sighs. “You’re upset and you can’t sleep good.” She mimes the two hands on the side of her head to emphasize her point.

“Yeah, thanks genius.”

“I can help! Hey, Darla! Can yo—”

“No! Stop. Nothing else. Just leave me alone right now. I’ll be okay.” I hold my hand out for emphasis. My claws are matte in the light of Darla’s cockpit.

Entrapta stands there, her ruby eyes puzzling at me, glancing up and down. Her gaze fixates on my claws. My blood. I suddenly feel very naked. She folds her legs, one over the other, and her heavy boots scrape against the reinforced fabric of her overalls. “Can I please do something to help?”

I stop myself from another bark, quenching a hot steel rod of frustration in my throat. Her eyes, that look. She just wants to…

I take a pause. I bite back the anger. “I don’t know.”

“Can I stay up here with you then? I think sometimes it’s good to sit with someone. Even if you don’t say anything.” She tilts her head to the side and moves cautiously towards me a little.

“I think I’d like that.” I look down at my claws and resist the urge to brush them against my shorts.

She doesn’t move. She sits, expectant. The pause lingers and her eyes shift left and right.

I curl my tail around me and grasp it with both of my hands wringing at the stiffened hairs. Just the quiet of the ship fills the empty void between us. The expected conversation sits just beyond our reach.

She sits up with a leap, and dangles from her pigtails. I yelp and almost hit my head on the canopy again. 

“I’m gonna go work on Darla!” Entrapta’s spider-like hair takes her over to the main console and she sits down. She pulls the emotionless buglike visage of her mask over her face and hunches over the keys to tap away at them.

I take a deep breath, releasing the anxiety withheld in my chest. Entrapta’s focus is lost in the ship’s diagrams. Different subsystems flash by, glinting off the mask. She hunches over the computer, the dark purple of her mechanic’s suit contrasts with the white of her persistent white tank top. With the mask down she looks more like a—

I stop my thoughts. A person. She looks like a person. My fingers are aching again. I relax them and hear the nails come free of the metal they are embedded in. I guess it’s time to go back to bed.

Darla’s orb snaps into a purple light that fills the room as she breaks the silence. “Administrator access required.” 

“Whaaat? Darla, I thought we were past this.” Entrapta lifts her mask, pleading with Darla.

My ear flicks in irritation at the sudden noise. “What’s going on?”

Entrapta turns with hurt obvious in her eyes. “Darla and I have been working through her systems and I’ve noticed that there are gaps in her core functions. I have been trying to debug why, but…” Entrapta keys the pad again without looking back to it.

“Administrator access required.”

“Well,” I swing my legs where they dangle on the console, “we have one administrator on this ship.” 

“We have to go wake up Adora!” Entrapta lifts again on the stilts made of her hair and lunges to the vent. I leap at her and grasp the length of her hair and drag her down. Wrenching her back. She lands on top of me.

“Why did you do that?” She looks at me puzzled, sitting on top of my chest.

I wrestle myself out from under her and kneel, fixing my top. “Let’s let Adora sleep for _once_.”

Entrapta looks back to the vent, and then back to me. “But… Darla.”

“Why don’t you show me what you’ve been working on until everyone gets up?”

“Okay!” She wraps me in a tendril of hair, and drags me over to the console with her.

I guess I didn’t need to sleep, after all.

* * *

“Why again are we stopping?” Bow’s question is punctuated by a wide yawn. His dark eyes scan at his feet.

“Catra and I stayed up all night with Darla! We were blocked with the firewall, but with some _clever_ diagnostics we know that the missing parts are modules even if we don’t know _what_ they are.” Entrapta stands next to the purple orb of Darla’s visage at the front of the cockpit. The stars stand still behind her, and a pair of planets frame the nose of the ship. One a pale green mass of clouds, the other a barren, rocky orb with a light blue hue on the surface.

“So you had Darla reroute us to... This.” Bow adjusts his knit sweater, pulling it away from his neck.. The heart in the middle of it scintillates with some magic imbuement.

Glimmer sits close, not quite touching. Her neck is craned upward to look at him. She relaxes, returning to a somewhat resigned pose. Her eyes are tired. She catches my stare and perks up again, pulling her long cloak around her. She almost disappears in starlight. 

Micah’s eyes shift from me, to Bow and Glimmer. His wrinkled brow furrows in suspicion. He opens his mouth to say something, but seems to think better of it. Nothing is amiss, clearly. 

I grin and peer up at your soft, tapered jawline set in consideration. “If it’s locked behind an administrator key, it could be good Bow. Might be worth the stop.” Your voice thrums against my shoulder. You spare a glance at me and I relax, nestling into your red jacket with my cheek. The lack of sleep starts to catch up with me. I settle in my position on your lap at the commander’s chair with my foot twitching as it tapers off the side. Your dopey smile glows down on me. You big idiot.

“Darla, can you give us any clue what’s missing from your systems?” Micah’s haggard voice barely cuts through my focus on you.

Darla dims, and her grid of lines tighten and relax. Maybe that’s her version of a blink? “Administrator access required.”

The room turns to us. You break our gaze and look back at them staring blankly.

I shift my body into yours. “Uh, administrator?”

You sit up in a startle. “Oh! Right. Darla, what subsystems are you missing?”

Darla’s luminescence brightens and a black dot appears in the middle of her orb, tracking you. “Administrator Adora recognized. I cannot extrapolate based on information I do not have. I know my systems are only partially functional. And some of the First Ones tech I scanned on the nearby system could be used to reactivate some of my missing components.”

What could have been taken since the wreck? Hordak’s lab makes a little more sense in this context, though. I settle my head against your shoulder, arms crossed, and tail flicking between your legs. 

“Imagine what she could do with more tech!” Entrapta’s elation is, as always, intoxicating.

“Supposing we can fix her with whatever is down there, do we know anything about these planets?” Glimmer can’t hide the torpor in her voice. Her hand emerges from her cloak again as she teases at her disheveled purple hair. It sets off a cascade of glittering light.

Darla’s glowing orb flickers as she replies, “My scans show active movement on the surface of Kalim. I believe it may be rampant First Ones bots.”

“Then let’s move on.” Micah shifts on his feet and nervously straightens a wrinkle on his royal purple robe. His wizened face bears the most worry out of all of us.

“I agree. I think we should keep on to the Star Siblings. It’s not worth a risk.” Bow nods in affirmation.

“But—” Entrapta’s face is crestfallen. Her interlaced fingers plead at everyone wordlessly.

There’s a jostle under me disturbing my sneaking slumber. “I have an idea. Darla, do you have any records of how you and Mara found Etheria?” Your voice is always so soothing.

I close my eyes and lean into you, settling back in. You seem to be the only one getting good rest on this trip so far.

“I only have fractures of our logs. It seems the crash corrupted a significant portion of my nonvolatile memory. However, by extrapolating the time gaps from timestamp fragments found in my databanks, I can deduce that several thousand candidates were pursued in the search of magic.”

My eyes snap open. “How did you manage to move that fast? It’s taken us months to just reach one system.”

“I do not know the answer to this inquiry.”

“Maybe she has a miniaturized portal drive!” As she speaks, Entrapta rises on a twisting pillar of her hair.

You smile down at me. “I think it’s worth a look.”

Your gaze draws out a sigh from me that I am barely aware of. Sheepishly, I grin back at you. I hear Melog purring behind us, rumbling the chair. Until I realize that it’s me. I don’t care. I feel your fingers scratch delicately against the back of my scalp. I lean back into them.

“Let’s do it.” Glimmer drops a fist into her open palm for emphasis.

“I don’t like going in there on just a gamble, Baby Girl.” Micah tugs at his beard in concern.

“Yeah, well, last I checked Queen and She-Ra outrank you, Dad,” Glimmer says lightly, but still serious.

He holds up his hands, resigned. 

“So what’s the plan? Melog can hide us, but that’s a lot of bots even for them.” I absently scratch at my collarbone under my button-up shirt.

“Darla, pull up a heat map on the surface of Kalim.” Bow walks into the middle of the room where a surface map with hills, ridges, and rocks overlays the empty space. On it, dots of light teem. He swipes a hand through the air, a thoughtful finger cupped around his chin. He stops at a small hill that is cascading with the ants of the light. “First Ones bots tend to collect around the strong sources of their tech. I think that might be our best bet.”

“Okay great.” I sling my legs off you and stand up. I feel your hand linger on my hip and slip away. “So how do we go in? Entrapta, can you set up a disabling signal from Darla?”

She looks down at me from atop her pillar and shrugs.

“All right, Micah, Glimmer, what about a spell from the air that can hit the spot with a blizzard and freeze the bots in-place?” I turn to them, and see more blankness. “Doesn’t anyone have an idea here?” Melog curls around my feet and rubs a shoulder against the back of my thigh.

You smile. “How about we imp—” 

“If you say improvise I’m throwing you out of the airlock.”

“We… come up with a flexible plan that can be adjusted on the fly?” Your smirk. I forget my anger.

But I still manage a glare.

* * *

The airlock door opens. I grab tight onto your hand. With my other I clench at the support webbing attached to the interior of the ship. 

“Just so we’re clear, I don’t like this plan.” I mutter into the mic of the space suit.

“You’re the one that said we needed one.” The reflection of the small craggy planet glints off the dome of your helmet.

“Making a stupid plan doesn’t count!”

“C’mon, Catra. I’ve done worse.”

My hand flexes. I tug you a little closer. “I tried to stop you from that, too.”

You turn and thread an arm back around me. There is a _clonk_ of our helmets clashing together. “Then we know this one is going to work.”

My fangs clench around my lip. I nod. “I don’t want to land and just dump you down there with an army of bots. Even She-Ra needs backup.”

You push gently away from me. I release my grip on you. 

“You thought I was landing?” You wear an impish smile. You step back, the oblivion of a dead planet is your backdrop.

“What’re you—?”

“Watch _this_!” You step off.

“Wait!”

You fall away. I rush to the end of the airlock. The surface of the blue-gray field is clustered in small boulders, ones that swarm and roil. They slide along the rocks, crests, and valleys. More bots than I ever knew were possible. I catch sight of your diminishing figure as it shrinks into nothing, headed straight for an extinct volcano.

“Adora!” I cry into the mic.

The speakers crackle. “ _For the honor OF GRAYSKULL!”_

Light. A nova ignites in front of me, far below. Every color, even those unseen, explode away from the point. As soon as they are thrown away, the prismatic incandescence collapses back on the source. I see a small, finite mote of white-gold light that streaks to the ground like a falling star.

It disappears into the side of the volcano. At first there is nothing. Then everything. A shock wave of raw radiance tears down the side of the mountain into the surrounding valleys and plains that hold the countless bots. Each is a tiny explosion as the tide of light catches up to them. I can’t tell how far it travels, but it looks over a mile wide before I see a geyser of air erupt from the side of the mountain.

Bow’s voice chirps in through the speaker on the suit. “What the heck was that?” 

“Dumbass got us in, Bow. We’re clear for a landing.”


	2. Friends

“There.” Entrapta looks up from her pad. The air slows from a rushing cacophony into a thin whistle as the emergency isolation bulkheads lock down. There’s a heavy  _ clank _ as they finish sealing shut. The sound echoes across the empty hallway we’re in now. Glimmer teleported us into the service corridor adjacent to the She-Ra sized hole in the main access hall.

Even the most utilitarian of through-ways demonstrate the First Ones’ technology. The ceiling of the hall is a point high above. It’s wide enough for four of us to walk abreast, but only just. The walls are traced with horizontal lines and circles resembling the circuit boards hidden in the panels of Darla. They don’t glow with blue-green light though. They’re the dimmest red.

“Thank Etheria.” I sigh. “I don’t remember the hole being part of the  _ plan _ .”

You smirk—well, She-Ra does. Her glowing form radiates light from her white suit and gold accents. It overpowers the meager light in the hall. The warrior of a woman crosses her arms in front of her. “It’s still a door if it gets us in.”

Her arrogance should annoy me, but my retort dies as my eyes linger on her. Confidence, strength—She-Ra is raw intoxicating power. And you are still my idiot, somewhere in there. Maybe it’s not so bad? I catch myself. I blink and look to the side, crossing my arms. “You’re an idiot.”

The others are huddled around Entrapta’s computer, thankfully ignoring us. No one saw the stupid blush rise in my cheeks.

“Is there enough air for us to still breathe?” Bow peers around Entrapta’s shoulder.

“Oh yes. There’s plenty and the system has a regenerator. Though it seems to be offline. A lot of things are.” She lifts her helmet with a loud  _ pop _ and tosses it aside, barely stopping from her work. A pigtail scratches at her chin while her fingers and hair stab away at the keyboard. Floor plans, circuit diagrams, and ducting diagrams are open on all sides of the screen and reflect off the transparent material on the chest of her suit. 

The popping of helmet seals releasing serenades the dark room as we remove them. Bow, Glimmer, and Micah hover around Entrapta’s terminal. The light glints off Bow’s stupid ab window when he turns to set his helmet aside. 

“Looks like power is down across the board. There’s not much in reserve.” Bow mimes Entrapta’s gesture of focus. “We have to be careful what we turn on or use. We’re going to need to get through the heavy bulkheads.” He gestures to a door nearby us. It’s as wide as the rest of the corridor. Three gemstones adorn the face, arranged in a triangle with the same stylized grooves carved like in the rest of the hall. They glow with the dim red light in accordance with the rest of our surroundings.

“On it!” Glimmer hooks her arms through Bow’s and Micah’s who stand closest to her.

“No more teleports!” I shout before I can stop myself. The room turns to me. “I’m just, I’d rather keep the rest of my lunch in. Please.”

“I could try one of my unlocking spells.” Micah’s suit vaguely matches his tunic and pants from Etheria. It’s bulkier than the rest of ours. A large crescent moon stylizes the middle of his chest. He twists his hand and a red glyph materializes in front of him. He pushes and it scatters ineffectually against the closed door. He shrugs at his daughter.

“Good try, Dad.” She pats his arm.

“We could try something else. Maybe it’s password locked?” She-Ra approaches the door. “Um, Eternia!” The rest of the crew sits silently looking at her. She stands alone, befuddled by a door. “She-Ra?” Still silence. “Administrator access… uh… requested. No! Demanded.” The words die in empty echos. 

“You’re hopeless.” I roll my eyes. When I see your shoulders slump, though, a new idea strikes. “We can do it the old fashioned way.” I flex my fingers and claws extend.

It’s enough to change your mood instantly. You grin at me  mischievously . “Now you’re talking.”

“What’s that?” Micah’s question barely leaves his lips.

She pivots and materializes She-Ra’s sword in her hands. But she’s still slow on the draw, as always. I unfurl my claws, and attack the bulkhead. My nails dig deep into the steel and leave a ragged, white scar in the surface. I drag both hands down at my shoulder width, and then perpendicular to that, leaving a small portal. I give a solid kick and knock the heavy plate inside. I follow it with a curl and a pounce through the opening. I stop long enough to check behind me, seeing the point of She-Ra’s sword dragging in a circle adjacent to the hole I just leapt through. 

A dim red emergency light emanates from two large crystals towering as tall as myself on either side of the room. No matter. I move up and attack the next door. I finish just as She-Ra clambers through her ragged portal in the door.

“Guys!” Bow calls from on the other side of bulkhead. “These are probably airlock doors! Maybe we shouldn’t be cutting through them!” His voice cracks.

I cut another clean white line through the steel with my claws. “What, Bow? I can’t hear you!”

Just as She-Ra reaches the door and plunges the sword into it, I am already through my entryway and pause to watch her efforts. “You’re too chunky Adora! She-Ra needs to cut back on the cake!”

“I think—” She huffs and I hear her through the opening I just leapt through. “It’s First Ones’ metal so it’s resistant to my sword.”

“Hah! Please. You’ve just always been slow!”

This room is identical to the last; another bulkhead probably for the exact purpose Bow mentioned. She-Ra is halfway through making her cut and I dash on all fours to the next doorway. I finish the next cut and kick the window out. I prepare to leap before I smell it. The air of the past two rooms had been stale collections of dust. This smells—open. As I am thinking through this, the belated clang of the falling metal shard I kicked in finally reaches my ears.

“Whoa.” You stand beside me, already shifted away from She-Ra.

I spare a glance to the side, relieved to see you in… your shape. I forgot that Entrapta styled your jacket into your space suit. Sometimes I can’t even picture you without that stupid jacket. I resist a quip and look into the darkness of the opening I made. “I can’t even see what’s in there.”

The rest of the crew arrive and take turns staring into the room beyond. We’re unable to make anything out in the void.

“Dad, give me a hand?” Glimmer walks to the left of my handiwork and gestures Micah over to the opposite. Glimmer draws a glyph in the air, five stylized stars in a ring. He nods, understanding her intent and adds his own flourishes onto the pattern with another large star in the middle. They gesture with their hands through the dark portal, and the glyph moves inside. 

It blossoms into daylight in the room. The void opens up, but into an expanse that still seems larger than the spell can manage. I look deeper, and below are countless lines of ships in various states of disrepair. They are a silent procession of entombed hulks. No two are alike, but they all seem derived from the same family of craft that is Darla’s.

“Think they have some spare parts?” Glimmer says with a lopsided smile.

“What! Let me see!” Strands of hair shove the entire party aside, splitting us down the middle. Entrapta’s face pops into the window and she shrieks with joy. “She was right!” A manic cackle rattles us, and I resist the temptation to hug her.

“Let’s get down there,” you say.

* * *

As soon as she touches the ground after the descent on Bow’s rope-arrow, Entrapta dashes to the nearby panel, opens it, and starts unraveling the wires with her snakes of hair. I leave her to it and join the others.

“They just go on forever,” Bow says.

“They had enough people to fly all of these?” The hope in your tone sends a small pang through me.

“I don’t know.” Glimmer walks forward and places a hand on the underside of one of the ships. It looks just like Darla, but only at a glance. Darla’s sleek and angular form has little to no clutter on it. These ships have ragged panels, or added accoutrements in pods or antennae. Every one of them is unique.

“They’re all personalized from the looks of it.” I drag a claw over one of the plates. Like Darla it resists more than the other steel of the First Ones, barely making a scratch.

“What did they need all of these for?” Micah follows the others. He gestures in the air with his fingers, forming a smaller glyph. He pushes it down to the ground and a blue pulse erupts in all directions. “I don’t sense any—”

Entrapta’s wail cuts him off.

My tail stiffens behind me and my ears leap up on top of my head. I sprint towards the noise to find her collapsed in front of her terminal. 

“What is it?” Micah is first on the draw with his concern.

“They’re dead!” Her shoulders are slumped, and her face is turned away from us. Her body shakes up and down. I hear the tears, even though I can’t see them.

“Who’s dead?” Glimmer takes a step closer, while the rest of us hesitate. I feel a mix of worry and fear.

“I promised her that I’d find someone. She’d be less lonely.”

I turn to you and whisper close enough that our conversation is held privately. “What did she promise you?”

“Me? Nothing!” I wince at your volume. Why couldn’t you ever whisper?

Entrapta’s body shudders. If she heard you, she makes no indication.

Bow holds a hand out and moves in to console her. “Entrapta, the First Ones died out a long time ago.” He looks up, realizing what he said. Your face reveals a little pain, but she waves him off. He only speaks the truth. “I don’t think it’s surprising that they’re all gone.”

“Not them!” Her eyes burn with tears of anger. Her expression is hot, disarming. “The ships!” She flips the display around and it shows row upon row of gray dots. There’s no tone, no light. Everything sprawls in a featureless mesh.

“Can’t we just fire up the generator and reactivate them?” Bow’s words and tone are careful, but it incenses Entrapta more.

“You don’t understand. The ships are all random memory access! They can’t hold all of their data in storage. If they power down completely, they lose the consciousness state. They’re dead.”

You are the bravest, walking over to Entrapta to squat next to her. “I’m sure there’s something you can work out with Darla to get a couple of them back. They can help us rebuild the systems she is— _ oof _ !” 

A  _ whack _ of hair sends you sprawling onto your backside. “You don’t  _ understand _ .” Entrapta runs into the rows of ships and disappears in their silent shadows. We all exchange glances in her absence.

I cut the silence first. “What in the Heart was that?” 

“I don’t know. Micah, come with me. Let’s go find her. Bow, Glimmer, Catra, go see what you can figure out on her workstation.” Your words are quick and authoritative. I feel my tail curl. With a startle I straighten it back.

The three of us nod. Bow picks up her station and starts to scan through the screen. He taps one of the dots, and it shows a ship with First Ones’ writing of some data either in specification or cataloging. “They’re all powered down like she said.” He taps another ship and it is a slightly different shape, with small differences in the writing. 

“I’d think she’d have a translator installed by now.” Glimmer squints at the words.

“Are you kidding me, Sparkles? She taught herself the language on Beast Island. Why’s she need a translator?” I cross my arms and tap a finger on the sleeve of my suit.

“Okay, fair.” She glares at me, but it’s toothless.

“We’re not going to be able to tell what’s missing on Darla if they’re all different though.” Bow scratches his chin.

“Maybe we look for what’s the same?” Glimmer cozies in closer to Bow. She rests a hand on his forearm and moves in alongside him. 

“That could work!” He smiles down at her. His face darkens a little when he sees my noncommittal expression. He glides by the awkwardness and reaches into his quiver. He hands us two arrows. Both look identical to his normal repertoire. “Use these!” He pushes a nondescript button on the side and the head of the arrow turns into a small radar dish. He hands each of them to us and then pulls out his datapad. On it, he retrieves a schematic of Darla. “Scan all the ships you can find. I’ll keep a log of what their layouts are, and the most common features will keep showing up. After we have enough, I’ll compare the standard set of features on a ship against Darla and we’ll figure out what she needs!”

He catches my skepticism as I look between him and the scanner.

“What? Does it not make sense?”

“Oh, it makes sense. But why do they always have to be arrows?”

Glimmer stifles a giggle next to me.

* * *

I hold the arrow scanner up to the craft in front of me. This one has pods underneath the chin that look like some form of weapon. They remind me a little of Horde Prime’s laser cannons on his small ships. I press the button and the small device whirs, and then chirps when completed. I walk to the next one; this has two sets of pylons on the side, instead of the single pair that Darla has. 

I catch Glimmer out of my periphery. She’s looking at me. “Hey, Catra?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I—” Her pregnant pause fills the emptiness around us. “Can we talk for a second?”

“What’s on your mind?”

“Bow and I—”

“Wait.” I stop and set a hand on my hip. “I am  _ not _ going to talk about whatever you two get up to alone.”

She holds both hands out defensively. “No, not that! I’m just having trouble with him.”

“I don’t know what you're dancing around here, Sparkles. I'm not exactly an  _ expert  _ when my only reference is Adora and we—”

“He wants to know what happened on the Velvet Glove.” Her shimmering eyes are pained. “He wants to know what  _ he _ … did.”

“Oh.” I drop my hand down from my hip. The other reaches across me, clenching at my bicep. Bow’s scanner arrow dangles dormant in my hand.

“Yeah. It’s making it hard to have conversations with him sometimes. Have you talked about it with Adora?”

I reach up and touch the back of my neck, feeling at the scabs. “Not really.”

“Why not?” She steps closer to me.

“It’s hard to explain. Hard to make sense of it, you know?”

“I do.” She sinks to her knees and sits back on her heels. “Can we talk?”

“Can’t you wait to talk with Perfuma about this? She’s better at this stuff.”

“I have, and she said I should talk with you. She said you’re hurting, too. Please, Catra.” Her face is tired, wounded. I wonder what mine looks like right now.

I feel trapped and a little betrayed, but I don’t see another option. I sit back on my heels as well. Suddenly, I really want Melog here, but they’re still on the ship keeping Darla cloaked. I guess I can handle this on my own. “Do you... want to sit back to back again?”

She smiles at me. “I’d be okay with that.”

We turn and rest our backs against one another. This time, without the barrier of the cell between us, her warmth—her strength presses against mine. I curl my tail around her waist and rest it on her lap.

I take a breath, unsure of what to say. Maybe just something to start? “So what’s he asking you about?”

She absently runs a hand along my tail, smoothing out the fur. “He wants to know if I was hurt there. If Horde Prime did anything to me.”

“Like he did to me?”

“I don’t think he means it like that.” 

My tail twitches in her hands straining a little from the resistance. “It’s all right.”

“I’m trying to explain it to him, but there’s something missing.”

“Like what?” I push back against her and feel a gentle pressure back.

“Catra—I… can I tell you something?”

“That’s why we’re sitting like this.” I reach down next to me and drag a claw across the floor, silently pulling a curl of metal up. 

I hear an uncomfortable laugh behind me. “This isn’t the easiest thing to talk about.”

“Is any of this?” I flick the curl of metal aside with a  _ ping _ and rest my hands on my knees.

“It’s about... about what happened before Horde Prime got us.”

“Oh.” My tail flicks out of her hands reflexively. As if this will let me escape from the conversation. As if it were that easy.

“You saved my life, Catra. I’ll always be grateful to you for that. You’ve made up for a lot of things since… But I still wound up on Horde Prime’s ship—I lost my mother,” she swallows, “because of you. I guess… I’m still trying to understand that.”

My breath holds.

“She—when I got back to Bright Moon, my mother wasn’t there. She was gone like she never existed. And everyone acted like it. I was just suddenly supposed to be queen, and everything would be okay. But it wasn’t. It hasn’t been. She’s gone and I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay. She doesn’t have a body, or a grave. She is just  _ gone _ —lost in that Portal somewhere.”

I bite my tongue and taste blood.

“I was so angry. I wanted to hurt everyone. I wanted to take her back. I wanted to hurt,” she takes a measured pause, “you.”

The word falls like a rock down an empty well, rattling as it plunges and landing with a resonating thud. Anger, defensiveness, they all rise in me. I feel my fingers flex and extend my claws.

“When I found out the Heart of Etheria was a weapon, I wanted to use it on everyone that hurt me. Bow and Adora tried to stop me, and I didn’t… I didn’t listen. And then Horde Prime came. It felt like my anger took me to him. I—We saw horrible things, Catra. I was the only person that could save Etheria, and he toyed with me, and my friends. He made me think that at any second it would be my fault if everyone was killed, or if he decided to eradicate another people. He wanted me to always know he had control.” She pauses for a breath. “I feel as though I deserved it for what I did.”

I swallow a contorted knot of feelings. “That’s what they do.”

“I think about that, too. I feel like I might understand a little better what you and Adora went through when you were kids.”

I shake my head, my grip tightening on my knees. A faint crackle of electricity through my joints—the ghost of her power over me. “Shadow Weaver was never like that. Horde Prime was worse.”

“I know.” She sighs and some of the pressure leaves me as she leans forward. “That’s what I think about, and I can’t talk with anyone about it, because they don’t really understand.”

“Unless they lived it too?”

“Yeah.”

Another silence lingers between us.

I take a deep breath. Courage. “It’s not your fault what he did.”

“But he—”

“No ‘but’s. He was a monster. He was the worst monster I have ever seen. And I wish I could have been more like you.” My tail ventures back around into her lap, reconnecting us. Reaching out in a way I never quite could otherwise.

“What?” she says, half-laughing.

“I mean, I got trapped. It started with Shadow Weaver, and never ended.” I raise a hand up. My fingers lace back towards my neck, claws still extended. I stop myself. I  _ have _ to stop myself. Instead, I clutch at the side of my head. “It just got worse with Prime. I had to get you out of there because Adora would get trapped again, too. And I couldn’t let that happen. But you idiots came back.” A smile creeps onto my face. “And the first thing you did was grab one of his stupid sticks and beat his clones to death with it.”

There’s a loud bark of a laugh through her tears. I didn’t know she was crying.

I am too. I wipe a tear away. “I should’ve thought of that.” I take a shaky breath. “I don’t know how you can tell Bow about it, Sparkles. But… I don’t know… Maybe we can talk about it or whatever.” I trail off on my last words.

I feel her hand envelope mine. Before I can move she has spun me around, and I am locked into an embrace with her. She buries her face into my spacesuit. She cries, and I join her. Quiet sobs in the desolate hangar. We stay like that for a while before Glimmer’s pad chirps, startling the two of us.

“Hey, is the data connection good?”

“Yeah, Bow. We took a break to look inside one of the ships.” Glimmer tries to disguise her tears.

“You okay?” His face squints in concern.

“Just a bunch of dust.” I peer over the top of the screen to see his face, upside down.

“Well, all right. Adora and Micah just got back with Entrapta. She’s—she seems fine now. She’s working on the data from the scans. You sure you’re okay, Glimmer?”

“I’m fine. We’re almost done.” Glimmer squirms in front of me but does her best to hide it from the screen.

“Okay, be careful. We still don’t know if the bots can get in from the outside or not.”

“We will. I’ll take care of her, Arrow Boy.” I wink at him.

“Okay, thanks Catra.” He smiles.

“See you soon, hun.”

Bow’s posture stiffens, and his cheeks flush. “See… See you soon.” The pad winks off.

A wanting expression lingers on Glimmer as she sets the pad down.

I branch through thoughts of what could be bothering her before the epiphany hits. “No I love you?”

“He’s been a bit tense with my dad around, I guess.” Her eyes fixate on our laps. “Catra.” She looks up at me, irises glittering in the light above. “Thank you.”

I squeeze her hand. “I’m trying. Adora’s got this idea in her head that I’m supposed to be nice to everyone.”

She smiles. “Well, it’s working. I have things I need to make up for too. Let me know what I can do.”

I pause, flexing my mouth to the side in thought. “I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Don’t teleport us back when we’re done with the scanning. I don’t think my stomach can take another. Can we just walk this time?”

Her smile broadens. “Deal.”

* * *

I drag a claw over the top of the supply box I am sitting on. The fine tip digs a curl of steel up and away from the surface, leaving a gouge of bright, fresh metal behind. With my other hand, I twiddle with the button on my shirt at the top of my sternum. You and Bow dust with a pair of brooms across the way in the cargo bay of Darla. Out of the corner of my eye, I spy your glare at me. You huff and sweep a little too hard, kicking a puff of dust into the air. Subtly has never been your strong suit.

Bow coughs. “You all right?”

“Yeah, just  _ peachy _ , Bow.” You grab the dustpan and set it on the floor kicking a small pile of detritus into it.

“Hey, the ship only has two brooms. I already finished moving the boxes.” I finish the line with my claw and start at the top again, drawing another one at an angle from the first.

“You moved  _ two _ boxes, Catra.” You dump the contents of the dustbin into a nearby empty container that once held protein slaw.

“Well, the rest are too heavy.” 

“You could just grab the—”

“So, I got a question for you guys.” Bow follows your action, dumping his pan into the bin, though more gently.

You turn your glare from me back to Bow. “Yeah, what’s up?”

I finish with the other line. And I draw a smaller one intersecting the two in the middle. Melog watches my work with curiosity from where they lay, head resting on their paws.

He sets the broom and pan aside on a nearby stack of crates. “Do you guys ever call each other anything other than, you know, your names?”

You furrow your brow and look between me and Bow. “No, why would I do that?”

“I mean, I call her idiot.” I look up to him.

You relax back into your smug, goofy grin. “Actually, I used to call Catra The Great Mouser of The Fright Zone.” You rest the broom against you and make a pair of mouse ears with your hands.

Melog mews at me and I scowl at them.

“That was  _ one _ time.”

“No.” Bow holds his hands up. “Not… not like that. Guys, c’mon. I’m talking about how like Netossa and Spinnerella call each other ‘Spinny’ and ‘Darling’.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” I draw a circular line, stopping short of connecting the ends together. “It’s kind of gross if you ask me.”

“It’s not…” Bow covers his eyes. “Would you guys listen?”

“Why’s it bother you what Spinnerella and Netossa call each other, Bow?” You balance the broom on its head, holding both hands on top of the handle to steady it.

A vein in Bow’s forehead looks ready to pop. “It doesn’t  _ bother _ me. I… Glimmer’s started calling me ‘hun’ and I am trying to think of one to call her, too!”

“Ohhh.” I drag my nail between the two symbols, making an idle scratch. “So, that’s nice, I guess. What’s the big deal?”

“I think it’s sweet, Bow.” You pat him on the arm with a smack.

“It’s  _ not _ sweet. Well, I guess it is.” He chuckles and rubs at the back of his neck. “Anyway I have to come up with one for her now and I’m stumped and it’s bothering me.”

“You could call her ‘Sparkles.’” I shrug.

“No, I can’t! That’s  _ your _ thing, Catra. And it sucks because that was a good one, too.”

“Eh, whatever. I don’t own it or anything.”

“No, that’s too weird. I can’t take it like that. It’s like…” He struggles for a second before gesturing emphatically at you, causing you to startle and drop the broom. “What if every time I saw Adora I started saying, ‘ _ Hey, Adora _ .’”

His voice cracks in the middle of the ‘hey’ and my ears flick in pain and lay back against my head. My claws instinctively drag over the crate I’m sitting on. “Don’t… don’t ever say that again.”

His fearful eyes stare back at me. Melog picks their head up from their lap to glance between us.

“Okay, we’re getting off subject.” You interject while picking up the broom again. You cradle your chin with your thumb and forefinger in thought. “What do people normally call each other? Other than their names, I guess.”

Bow sighs. “They’re called pet names, Adora.”

“You mean like how we called Swift Wind ‘Horsie’?”

“No, that was… I guess kind of? But they’re usually something endearing like sweetie or honey.”

“So why don’t you use one of those?” You pass the broom back and forth between your hands.

“Because they’re  _ terrible. _ ” I start carving a line around the symbols I have been making, a circle for emphasis. “I wanna puke just thinking about hearing that every day.”

Melog mews in agreement.

“Hmmm, so maybe it’s stuff you eat then?” The gears turn in your head as you study Bow.

I bet Bow is doing a lot of… I quash that quip before it gets very far.

Bow’s shoulders slump. “Could be? But what do I use for that?”

“Uhm… what about those things she made for us when we ran from Prime into the asteroid field?”

My claw stops in the crate. A wash of emotions hit me and I feel them jam up in my heart. Relief, fear, regret… but mostly just the raw joy of seeing your face again shears through all of them. Melog stands and brushes along my leg and I release a breath I was subconsciously holding.

“Oh, they were like, dumplings or something.”

“That sounds good! And it’s something she made with her mom so maybe she’ll like it?” You grin at him.

“Hmmm, that could work.” Bow’s expression relaxes as he finishes his consideration. “I like it. Now let’s just hope she does.”

A thought breezes through my mind. An ill feeling. “Bow, maybe you shouldn’t—”

A puff of purple glitter snaps into the room in the midst of us. “Hey, guys!”

How does she always know where we are to teleport to us? “Hey, Sparkles.” I lean back, and look down at my handiwork. When I see what I had been carving I drop my hand over it.

“You guys almost done in here?” She spins to you and Bow.

“Yup!” Bow gestures his enthusiasm across his chest with a closed fist. “Ship shape and ready for Entrapta to move her new parts for Darla in.”

Glimmer peers around them. “It still looks like there’s a lot of boxes in the way?”

You jump up with a blush on your face. “Uhh, right! Sorry. We were a little distracted. And  _ someone _ hasn’t been much help.”

I wave you off, realize I used the same hand meant to cover my drawing, and quickly slap it back down.

“Well, I’ll let Entrapta know it’s still going to be a bit then. Don’t keep her waiting too long. I think she wants off this planet soon.” 

“We’ll get right on it.” Bow nods, repeating his enthusiastic gesture from before.

“All right. See you soon, hun.” Glimmer leans in and kisses him on the cheek.

“I… I look forward to it…” The words fall out of his mouth like an agonizingly slow disaster unfolding. He swallows. “Dumpling.”

Glimmer’s phase out of the cargo bay stops mid-transition. She snaps back into focus and the world hangs in a dreadful silence. I press my lips together trying to hide my grin. Melog curls up at my feet as small as possible, waiting for the lethal explosion of glitter.

“What did you call me?” Her voice is colder than a peak in the Kingdom of Snows.

“I… Dumpling?” His voice cracks again like glass.

She glares daggers at him. “Are you calling me that because I am  _ short  _ and _ round _ ?” Her words bite in a fury. An ominous glow builds in her hand.

I just hope she has the sense to keep us out of the collateral damage from the incoming spell. I tense on the crate, ready to leap away. I knew first hand what one of Glimmer’s blasts could do.

You grip the broom tightly as though it’s a staff, alarmed stare flicking between Glimmer and Bow.

Bow’s eyes are wider than Etherian moons. He can only squeak in fear.

A laughter fills the cold void of Bow’s imminent demise. It’s coming from her. She buckles forward and braces herself with a hand on his shoulder. Her laughs are a sweetness that rolls the fear away from around us.

Bow’s starts laughing, cautiously. As though miming her will save his life. You join him as well. Melog and I hold still, the execution could still be imminent.

She leans up finally and wipes a tear from her eye. “Oh, I had you going, didn’t I?”

Bow laughs nervously. “Yeah, you really did. You’re not mad?” He covers the back of his neck with his hand.

She smiles at him. “Of course not. It’s a really sweet thought, hun.” She leans in again, and kisses his cheek once more. “Just think of a _ different  _ one.” Her hushed voice speaks louder than her anger did before.

Bow squeaks again and Glimmer poofs out of the cargo bay in a flash. He collapses into a seat and a slump against the nearby box.

Now I can’t stop laughing. I put my hand over my stomach and loose a rattling joyous noise. I buckle forward. A weight is lifted out of my heart. I feel tears. I finally sit up. Bow is unchanged, save for now holding his head in his hands. But I see you.

I see your smile.

It feels good.

“Maybe we should… give you a minute, Bow.” You lean the broom against the nearest crate and walk towards me.

He makes a noise of meager acknowledgment. Melog pads over quietly to sit next to him in support, resting their chin on his slumped shoulders.

When you reach me, you hold out a hand and lift me from the box. I am obligated to follow and stand up. Your face looms close to mine before you look to the side where I was sitting, down at my idle works with my claws.

A & C. 

You touch the symbols. “You’re still not much of an artist.”

“Oh, bite me. I do better than you.”

You grin, and lead me out of the room.

Bow will be fine.


End file.
